"Space Invaders"

A couple of days ago, I was at one of the two tables I generally occupy from about 9:30 to 10:30 most mornings at the Panera in Fayetteville Towne Centre.  Two ladies were sitting in the armchairs by the fireplace, which were about 15 feet from me.  They seemed to be talking about something both earnestly and in a subdued fashion.  I was hard at work on my puzzle when a man came clomping in the front door and immediately clomped over to a table right next to the ladies and hung his coat on the chair.  Any chance of privacy for their conversation was gone.  The chair this guy chose is maybe 3 feet away.  They would have needed to start using American Sign Language to prevent him from hearing every word.  The ladies looked at each other and shrugged.  They might have rolled their eyes a bit, but I couldn’t swear to that.  As soon as the man clomped off to get coffee, the ladies picked their drinks up and went off to another location to continue their earnest discussion.  I had just been witness to a case of “Space Invaders!”

I apologize to anyone who thought this was going to be a post about old video games.  A “space invader” in my coffee shop talk is a person who sits at a table right next to yours when there are plenty of others available.  I have to say that I am not offended by anyone who plops down right next to me.  I don’t care.  I’m not doing anything for my eyes only.  But I know this bothers other people.  Some people believe “space invading” is a character flaw and can’t imagine how anyone could be so crass as to practice it.  Even though those who are offended may not be discussing anything covert, they can’t stand anyone sitting too close.  For them, it’s like when a person gets too close to you at a cocktail party, and you just want to say, “take a step back, buddy, please!”

There is another kind of coffee shop “space invasion” that annoys some people.  We are all creatures of habit.  It’s the “always sit in the same place at church” syndrome.  The Panera regulars are only human, and when one of us arrives to see our regular table occupied. . .by a stranger. . .well, it can throw off your whole day.  In fact, I wasn’t going to mention this, but the two ladies I talked about earlier were sitting in Terry’s chairs.  He always sits in one of them, and they prevented him from sitting there that day.  So some will think that the arrival of the “clomping man” was karma.  Me?  I don’t think that’s true.  Well. . .maybe.

Greg Ellstrom