THE TEN COMMANDMENTS plus ONE of ST. PANERA

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS PLUS ONE of St. Panera*

1. Thou shalt throw away thine own trash after eating.
2. Thou shalt  do thy best not to throw out silverware with the trash unless the silverware is made of brown plastic.
3. Thou shalt not block passage between tables with thy chair or thy butt..
4. Thou shalt not hog one of the two corner booths or the big table on the south side for thyself and thy computer no matter how important thou believe thoust work to be.*
5. Thou shalt not sneak small soft drinks in the cups intended for water.
6. Thou shalt not pilfer pieces of lemon and spirit them away in one of the aforementioned cups.
7. Thou shalt not read a newspaper without paying for it.
8. If thou breaketh commandment #7, thou’ll at least put the sections of the paper back in the proper order before thou return it to the rack.  (Thou probably shouldn’t do the crossword, either.)
9. Thou shalt not stand and block the coffee and cream counter as thou slowly stir thy coffee or tea ad infinitum and make the people behind thou want to scream.
10. Thou shalt have thy “Thy Panera” card out and ready before arriving at the checkout.
11. Thou shalt be forever kind to John, Jenn, Eric, Ian, Megan, Marie, Karen, Steve, Debi, Sierra, Tori, Victoria, Angela, Christine, Danielle, and all the others whose names I don’t recall as they worketh hard to make thy stay at St. Panera a blessed one.--Greg Ellstrom

*  Thanks be to Nick for assisting me with the title and Commandment #4.